* worship - amazing. anointed. after 2 days of getting in my own way...distracted by thinking too much about what's going on around me or what people might be thinking about me...He showed me that all that matters to Him is that i bring all of myself. because in those moments, where He has all of me, that's when He speaks.
* teaching - brian & jenn, bill, andrew, & jeremy. how do you process so much wisdom? and how do i keep from being too intimidated to ask questions? i finally had the courage to go up and talk to andrew after his teaching session. as i was talking to him, i realized that that's why they are all there. to impart their wisdom and to answer our questions. you know what happened? he listened. like, REALLY listened. not just to what i was saying, but also to what God was saying and then he shared it with me and then he prayed over me. i was a mess, but it was a beautiful moment.
* classes - went to band session today and gained some good stuff from how other people were being critiqued. my favorite part was the way that every word spoken was delivered in love for the purpose of building, strengthening, and encouraging each person. so good. oh, and i got a bit of one-on-one "instruction" from ian macintosh on keys. insane. he's 8 years younger than me and has such an incredible gift. i can't wait to learn more from him.
* songs - after andrew prayed for me, it was time for another main session and during the session we were making journals. our task was to take magazines and cut or tear out pictures and/or words that stood out to us in some way. kathy said that as we worked we might start to see a theme emerging in the words or the pictures or both. as i was putting the pieces together and placing them onto the notebook cover it began to take shape. then, as i was gluing them on, God brought me a song. what?!? it wasn't even the end of the second day! this morning i played it and worked out some of the lyrics and the chords. i found out that the songwriting classes are going to be times for people to share songs they've written and brian is going to critique them...tearing them apart and helping put them back together. oh my gravy! i have never been in a season of life where i would be comfortable sharing my songs so people can tear them apart. until now. jeremy was talking about that in the main session today during q & a. in answer to someone's question, jeremy said that we should be sharing the songs we're writing with a community so that we learn whether it is for us or for the corporate body...and also so that we can make changes that the songs might need that we wouldn't necessarily hear on our own. i remember thinking, "i so want to share my songs because i want them to be perfected and i want to know if they are for other people...but who can i share them with?" thanks GOD for opening a door for me to lay my songs out before people who understand worship so much better than i do and who will help me work out the kinks with grace and love. i am so excited! woot!
* friends - canada...the first friend i made is from canada and will be moving to portland to attend bible college in the fall. awesome. then, yesterday, as i was sitting on the floor eating my lunch, hannah came of and invited me to sit at their table. she has such a sweet and loving spirit. i ended up sitting at a table with girls from far away: virginia, indiana, wisconsin, singapore & australia! incredible. there was also a girl from california and one other girl who i still don't know where she's from. but they are wonderful. we played frisbee in the hot, hot, sun and today we all ate lunch together. i'll be carpooling with kayla - from wisconsin - because she needs a ride and i have a car and it turns out she's staying only about a mile from me. coincidenc? i think not. :)
* age - i seriously had no idea how young some of the Bethel crew was. i expected there would be quite a lot of young 20 somethings...but holy cow. there are kids here who are 16, 17, 18...and they are SO talented. the first day, jenn talked a lot about every person being a piece of the puzzle and that we can't disqualify ourselves for any reason because God has a purpose for each of us. i have struggled so much with that over these past three days because i keep thinking "I am so old...maybe i'm too old to be here...i can't play/sing like that." this is exactly the kind of stuff that i have to stop saying because ME is who God wants...30 years old...in love with Jesus...worshipper...me. jenn said, "be you. be real. be uncovered." i am learning how to be uncovered and to just keep being myself. it becomes easier when i turn those doubts into praise for who God has made me, how He's gifted me, and for the ways He has gifted others...because it keeps the enemy from gaining ground in my life. fear goes. self-doubt goes. and as it all gets stripped away, i step further into my destiny...and i can't wait!
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