where is the music?

i can hear it
slowly fading away
but trying hard
to fight
screaming for an outlet
finding none
a glimmer of hope
then reality
it can't be
not now
maybe not ever
or perhaps just not in the way i imagine
i find myself
letting go
again
wanting
wishing
hoping
BELIEVING
that God in His infinite perfection
understands
loves
KNOWS
and will be my outlet
always
and what i desire most
is to know
to really know
that HE is enough