fighting flesh

why is it so easy to want to change and yet so hard to actually do it? i have come so far in claiming victory over sin in my life, and there is always another temptation thrown in my face. i struggle with the fact that there is ever even an argument in my own head as to why i should choose sin over freedom. i clearly had a way out and what did i do? i gave in! does it mean i'm back where i started? no, but it certainly makes me feel like a wretched waste of God's time. i often wonder how long the Lord will offer me a way out...how many times He'll forgive me before His grace runs out...and i sometimes wonder if i will ever be fully free. my heart cries out - LORD FORGIVE ME! I NEED YOU! I CANNOT FIGHT THIS FIGHT ON MY OWN AND I NEED YOU EVERY MINUTE...TO STAND WITH ME AND BRING ME INTO COMPLETE FREEDOM. and in my heart, i know He hears and with new hope, i step forward, believing His desire for my freedom is even greater than my own. i sinned. i chose to bow to temptation instead of running from it. it was a moment of weakness that i will one day have to give an account for but it does not erase all that God has done. i am not my sin and i will not let it rule me. i am a beloved daughter of the King. a sinner saved by grace. purified. loved. accepted. and free.