one week

seven days. well, eight, i suppose. if you're counting today. i can't believe it's nearly here. all the training. next sunday is the day that i run for the rogers'. 13.1 miles. a distance that three months ago i was very unsure i could do. now, a week away, i'm sure i can do it and that feels pretty exciting :). please pray for my back and knees to remain strong and for my overall health. there are a whole lot of germs making their way around and i'm doing my best to avoid them. wednesday i'll fly...but i already have butterflies, both the excited and nervous kind...and then i'll spend a couple of days getting used to the climate. looking forward to sun...maybe i'll get a tan ;)...and mostly just relaxing. all that time with Jesus will do me some serious good :).

i ran 8 miles today. maintained a decent pace and the sun came out for a little bit...which was awesome :). and so begins the taper...

12.02 miles. 2:43.20.
un.
be.
lievable.
i am overwhelmed at the goodness of God and His grace over my life.
i am sore. i am tired. but i am so full of love and gratitude for how far He has taken me.
twelve weeks ago, i could barely run 3 miles.
four weeks from today, i'll be at disneyworld...celebrating the completion of 13.1 miles...and...quite possibly...shortly after i return...i'll be celebrating the arrival of a sweet baby girl from the other side of the world.
i cannot contain my joy :)

please continue praying for me, for the rogers' and for their daughter. if you want to donate, please let me know! :)

i forgot to post about my 9 mile run...and guess what? it's been long enough that i can happily tell you i ran 10 miles on Saturday :). it was a beautiful day...perfect temperature and only a few clouds...it may have even spit on me at one point, i can't really remember. normally i do my long run on sundays, but the weather was too good to pass up. good thing, too...because shortly after returning from our worship gathering yesterday, it started to sleet...and eventually turned to snow. that would have been one miserable 10 miles. i'm so glad God knew i'd need the sunshine on saturday and i'm so glad i actually had a free saturday to run! i finished in 2:17.29 which is a pretty good pace. i stopped twice to stretch my back because the repeated pounding of my legs onto the pavement made me feel like i was pushing my hips up into my back. the only probably with stopping when you're running 10 miles, is that when you start running again, your legs feel like lead. it probably wouldn't be so bad if i walked while i stretched, but the thing about this goal is that i don't want to walk even a step of those 13.1 miles. so i stop, stop my watch, stretch, then start running again. it may not be the most conventional way to run a long distance, but it's my distance to run and i'm the boss of me :) so, for now, that's how i'll do it if i decide i need to stop. the encouraging thing about my 10 miles, besides the fact that i actually ran all 10 miles, is that i maintained a pace of almost 30 seconds faster than when i ran my 9 mile race. helped me figure out some things about my body and how it relates to running. when i ran the 9, i was extremely tired before i even started because i hadn't had much sleep the 2 days prior. it also rained for the last probably 5 miles which just made me feel cold. and it was dark before i finished. i don't run in the dark. i don't like it. not at all. so, i figured out that i definitely need to be well-rested before attempting a run of any distance, but especially those longer ones...otherwise, i'm toast. :) on the agenda this week: a 3 mile, a couple of 4 milers, and 11 miles on sunday. sweet.

p.s. for those wondering...i still don't like running.

8 MILES!!!!
i can't even believe it. :)
it took me a couple of hours for it to sink in once i'd finished.
i was in a daze...but i have so many encouragers in my life and they all helped me snap out of it :).
it's funny.
whenever i run on the road, i feel like i am going SOOOO slowly. i have a burst of "speed" - if you can call it that - every once in a while, and then i settle back into my pace. at the end of the run, when i press stop on my watch and finally have the energy in my brain to roughly calculate everything...i realize, i ran faster than i felt. then, when i punch it into my running log online and see the numbers in front of me...i am ALWAYS blown away at how fast i actually ran. bear in mind, i'm no olympian...but for an asthmatic, non-runner to maintain a pace of around 13.5min/mile over a distance of 8 miles...that's amazing.
that's God for you. :) making me laugh. meeting me on the road. and moving me forward. i'm starting to see the goal and it's not nearly as scary as i thought :).

i'm still light years away from getting all my funds raised, but i'm trying not to be discouraged because i know the money is out there and i know that God is going to move the right hearts to give...and i'm so excited to see how the givers get blessed for their generosity :)

p.s. bob and cheri are now #12 on the waiting list!! woot!

i ran my fastest 3-miler yesterday :)
:36.05
tomorrow is 8 miles
sweet.

on the mend

my back wasn't bothering me as much today, so I walked a little less than 4 miles. it wasn't the 7 mile run i was supposed to do, but it felt good to go and kind of feel things out a bit. tomorrow i'm going to try the elliptical and i'll hopefully be back to running on wednesday. God knows. i don't. but i trust Him completely no matter what.

postponed

the first run of 2010 hasn't happened yet. yesterday, january 1st, 2010, i tweaked my back...whilst shoveling a bit of snow just before driving to the gym for a quick 3 miles. no run yesterday. maybe no 7 miles tomorrow. this is not good. probably i'll still be able to train, but i'll keep you posted. please pray.

longest run of 2009

december 27th.
1:00 pm
belmont to country club
country club to post canyon
post canyon to frankton
frankton to may
may to 7th
6 miles.
1 hour.
21 minutes.
59 seconds.
it was hard
especially when about half of the time i was running into the wind.
and it was snowing.
pretty.
cold.
but i did it. jesus did it, really. now onto this week's training. :)

just keep running...

i did it. 5 miles. 1 hour. 6 minutes. 15 seconds. it rained on me part-way through, so when i finished the 5 and started walking home, i got REALLY cold. but i didn't die. i wanted to quit. more than once. and i realized at one point that i will not be one of those people that loves running. i really am just doing this for a little girl. one whose face and name are not yet known to me, but she's in my heart. so for her...for the rogers whom i love dearly...i'll keep running...and i'll never stop being thankful that i am not running alone. HE is with me every step. HIS love is what compels me forward. most definitely.

4 down, 5 to go

yesterday marked exactly one month since i officially started training for the half. crazy. i have been running for a month? on purpose? dude. who am i?? a runner, apparently ;). anyway. it's taken me a week to respond to my last post. some blogger i am. oh well, there's only like 1 person who reads this anyway...so sarah, thought you'd like to know that i managed to run 4 miles on the treadmill last sunday. i didn't die...i dare say it felt pretty good except for the couple of times my back started to hurt. tomorrow morning i'm attempting a 5-mile loopish. loopish? well, it's not a full loop, but it's exactly 5 miles thanks to logyourrun.com where i can trace routes and stuff :). anyway, i'm a little nervous. my ankles have been bothering me the last couple of days. running hasn't been a problem, but they've been sore and tender when i'm standing or walking or just sitting down. weird. i'm praying it goes away and doesn't affect me in the morning. i'm also praying my back doesn't hurt at all. it's aches and pains like this that remind me i'm not 15 years old anymore. thankfully, jesus is running every step with me :). i'll let you know how it goes!!

so far, the running is good. i haven't frozen to death - although i ran outside the other day in the 20 something degree weather - and i've stayed injury free so far. i definitely prefer running outside rather than with Bub, but even i have limits. tomorrow morning i'm supposed to run 4 miles. something about that makes me nervous...maybe because i've never run 4 miles before...and maybe because the honest truth is that i still would much rather sleep in my warm cozy bed than drag myself out to go run 4 miles on a treadmill. but...if i don't keep running, the rogers don't get money and that is the only motivation i need. :) so goodnight...i'll let you know how the run goes!

p.s. for those who are wondering...$287 dollars has been donated :) only $2413 to go!! :)

so here's the deal. i know i'm going to have up days and down days during this whole "training for a half-marathon" business...but let me just say...I HATE THE DOWN DAYS! i was supposed to run 4 miles today. i didn't. my legs were just too tired. i wasn't having trouble breathing...which is good...and i was loving the music in my ears...but my legs were just done.

i know i should be proud of how far i DID run...and i am...but there is this nagging feeling that i am never going to be able to finish a half-marathon in 3ish months when i can't even finish 4 miles. see. i told you i hate the down days.

seems to me that someone is trying to make me give up. but i won't. because someone BIGGER and STRONGER is going to run right next to me...He may even have to carry me a little, but He's going to make sure i finish. yep. i will finish :)

so NOT a runner

"I will run...I will run this race...and I will do it all for LOVE. Your love compels me forward, your love controls my heart and I just cannot get away." ~ lyrics by Kristene Mueller

So...I'm running a half-marathon. For real. In March. Got my ticket. Got my registration. Started training. I'm really going to do this. WHAT?! yeah. crazy. Here are the details:

Race ~ Disney Princess Half-Marathon
Place ~ Walt Disney World...Orlando, FL
Date ~ March 7, 2010
Time ~ 6am...that's 3am for all of us left-coasters ;)
Reason ~ To raise money for my friends ~ The Rogers ~ who are on a waiting list to adopt a precious princess from an orphanage in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

Pretty fun, right?! I'm asking for people to give me money...$500 of which I will use for my own expenses...and the rest of which will go to the Rogers before I leave for Orlando...to run 13.1 miles around DisneyWorld. :)

I'm blessed to have two awesome ladies joining me...one is an old friend from my summer at Cannon Beach Conference Center...the other is a new friend from one of my hotel jobs. We all live in different places so we won't be training together, but we've all started training and I know it's going to help me stay motivated.

There's definitely more to the story...I didn't just "get a wild hair" as my friend Sara says...but suffice it to say that God's got His hands all over this adventure and I can't wait to see what happens!

I'll be sharing more in the coming months...updating my progress from time to time...possibly complaining about the monotony of running on a treadmill...and definitely giving thanks for the treadmill as I watch the snow fall to the ground outside the gym window! :)

I went for my first run on that particular treadmill today - my 4th run since beginning last week - and all I can say is...I need to figure out how to program the darn thing so it doesn't stop after 20 minutes!! Now for some sleep :)

what it all means...

how many times have you thought about your name...and what it really means? admittedly, i hadn't thought much about it...until a couple of days ago. my dear friend alicia did a "name study" on the meanings of the names of her immediate family. i was so intrigued by it, that i decided to do a little research on my name. i loved what i found and thought i'd share it on blog world :)

René ~ reborn

Leann ~ combination of Lee and Ann ~
Lee ~ sheltered from the storm
Ann ~ gracious

Lewis ~ famous warrior

hee hee...still makes me giddy inside...just thinking about my purpose and all that God has for me. :)

restoration

so many things to write about...so little time. i sometimes wonder how uncovered i should be...but it's not really in my nature to be fake. and yet, there is a delicate balance between speaking my mind and speaking my heart. i think most people would be glad to know that the greatest percentage of the time i speak my heart. the words inside my head are not always kind and not often true. in the same way, some of the things i have believed for a long time - with my heart - may not be kind and they may not be true. it all makes me so thankful that God is here. to help. to sort out. to keep me from speaking. to move me to speak. i could do life without Him...i mean, people do it all the time...but why would i? how could i? my identity is completely wrapped up in Him and the things i believe about myself are the things i know He believes about me. i'd like to tell you the whole story, but it's long so i'll just tell you the ending...or rather the movement towards the ending, because i'm still in process :). God gave me my heart back. every piece that has fallen out along my 31 years of life. every broken relationship. every stinging word. He picks up each piece, no matter the size, and fuses it back to my heart. and each time, there isn't even a trace of where the hole once was. i have always felt love. i have always had joy. but it is so much bigger and greater. and now...i feel like i'm really stepping into my destiny.

flat on the floor

so...i've been meaning to update my blog...but i got busy...then i got sick...then i got better...then i had a massive back spasm that sent me to the ER and i ended up sleeping for like 4 days...at least, it felt like 4 days straight of sleep because of the way those drugs knocked me out. sheesh. the story isn't really worth telling except for the part where the Lord began healing my back and He blessed me with friends who called or texted to check up on me...and one dear friend who brought me lunch and dinner the first day - the day i could barely get out of bed. in the midst of all the excitement/craziness i remember thinking how frustrated and mad i was that everything was messed up. not just my own plans, but also the way my injury was completely inconveniencing people at work. even still, at the end of every day, i was reminded of God's goodness. despite whatever pain i felt, i would eventually be fine. my pain...my injury...it would all go away. i'm now sitting in the office at work and i've worked a total of 28 hours in the last 3 days and most of it has been pain free. i was recently told by someone that they had a completely different impression of how i felt about my previous job than how i actually felt about it and i realized that there must be something inside of my brain that somehow glosses over all the good stuff when i'm venting to certain people about the not-so-great stuff. i'm working on changing that...so that whenever i'm relaying information to people about my life, i'm giving a more balanced picture...maybe even tipping the scales to the more positive as much as i can...so what's the point? why did i take you on this little rabbit trail? because even when life was pretty sucky being stuck in bed and sleeping so much, there were always things to be thankful for. even when i was flat on the floor, i was thankful i could move my legs enough to push myself into the other room to get my phone to call for help. when i was laying in bed, i was thankful the sun was shining and i could look out at blue sky and green trees. when i was bummed about not being able to swim across the lake, i was thankful to be at the lake celebrating my friend swimming across. when i felt bad that i couldn't work, i was thankful there were others who could work in my place...and even more thankful that each day in bed brought be closer to working again. God is soooooo good and i'm finding the more i reflect on His goodness, the more i see the good things He's doing. i am really really spoiled and i'm pretty sure it's because i'm His favorite :)...and i bet, if you start looking for His goodness, you'll find you're His favorite too ;)

happy birthday to meeeeeeee!

today i am 31 :) most people think i'm 18. hahaha. that's fun. it has been a peaceful, restful, wonderful day filled with sweet surprises, lots of hugs (my favorite), and tons of laughter with people who are so dear to me...and some sweet time of worship with my Jesus. these are the things i treasure. i am so loved. days like today are the ones i put in my quiver so that when the enemy comes - because he will - i can pull this day out and shoot it straight to the heart of every lie he speaks about my worth. even if i had no friends, i am still so loved by God...but i have friends. wonderful. amazing. loving friends. who are so kind and generous. the love they pour on me is an overflow of the Father's love for them and a tangible reminder of His love for me. and it is so good. in this, the 31st year of my life, i have one desire: to be wholly His. i want to worship Him with every breath and become who i was meant to be...holding nothing back...and being held back by nothing. i don't want my life to be the same...and i have a feeling it won't be. ever again. yay :)

take it all in

i'm here. finally. new room. new address. my friends are just as amazing as they have always been. surrounding me with love. inviting me over for dinner and i really can't believe i'm here. it only took me two minutes to get to the worship service this morning. unbelievable. i realized this morning that i have never in my life lived so close to church. but really that isn't the biggest blessing. it's being in community. i am so spoiled to live near so many dear friends. i hope i never take it for granted. everything leading me to this place has been the Lord. it feels like i've come home again...and i am so thankful.

shredded

i've spent time the last several days (well, the ones where i've actually been home) going through piles - literally - of paper. some from school...but most of it, i'm embarrassed to admit is just junk mail that i never bothered to toss out when it came. i have years worth of junk mail taking up precious space in my bedroom and it's driving me crazy. thankfully, several years ago, my parents came to visit me when i was still living in california. my mom helped me go through a bunch of stuff and get rid of it. the problem for me is that i get attached to things. why? who knows. and the other problem is that i someone convinced myself it was easier to throw it into a box or a bin instead of recycling or shredding it. well...i'm done with that. i've been planning - for over a year now - to go through what's left of my paper past and clear it all out. when i moved into this house last year, i had done a bit of down-sizing...but then i got busy...and lazy ;)...and all of my good intentions didn't mean squat because i still had all these boxes of papers. ugh. let me be clear. i am a neat freak to the core and if anyone ever visits, they will find my bedroom, closet and bathroom squeaky clean. the bedroom just has "organized piles" of papers. well, i've definitely had enough. i've had all summer to work on this project (well, most of it anyway) and it's nearly the end of august. the furniture is going into storage on thursday and i'm moving out on monday. the time is now. the neat-freak inside is breathing a sigh of relief and probably squealing with glee as each pile disappears and one more box is emptied. how lovely it will be when all i take to my storage until are boxes of books/dvds/cds and household items instead of another year's worth of paper. i've built momentum...i just hope it holds all the way through. i work all day tomorrow, all day saturday, and all day sunday. that gives me 3 - count them, THREE days to shred and recycle as much as possible and get the rest of my things out of the house. i'm ready. let's see what happens :)